Some new tools...

We had a great time at the Successful Mothering Convention this weekend. We listened to speakers on everything from parenting peacefully to getting the spice back in our marriages. As promised, I took notes on the things that the speakers presented. So here are a few things (by topic) that I learned...

Parenting:

1. Explain EVERYTHING that a child can expect in a new situation. Then check for comprehension.
2. TEACH instead of TIME-OUTS. Personally, I like to combine the two. But I think the point of the speaker was that we tend to focus more on the punishment than on the teaching that could go on before, during and after the situation.
3. Get your child to "Buy into" the consequences of their actions. An example: Your child bites another child. They need to understand their actions have hurt someone else and they need to help in healing/taking care of the other child (i.e. Going to get the Neosporin and the Band Aid for them). I think there are situations in which this might work.
4. Say YES! every chance you get, but on your own terms. i.e. "Yes, you can have a cookie, right after you finish your dinner" I know I am guilty of using the word NO far too often with my kids.
5. Use "preventive parenting" and avoid control battles. Head them off at the corner.
6. Pull them out of their bad mood and into a happy place with your imaginations and positive outlook.

The last one is my favorite. I've already tried this on Erin and it works wonders...
7. To eliminate whining or sassy talk... i.e. "MOMMY! I WANT IT NOW!" (imagine the whiny, demanding voice) Get in front of their face and repeat it exactly how they just said it in a whiny voice. Then say it the polite way, "Mommy, could I please have it now" (in a sweet voice). Then say, "Repeat." If you make it clear that they have to repeat it and show that you are waiting to hear it, they will do it in the nice voice that you used. I tried this one for the first time with Miguel in the audience and he was amazed at how well it worked. Frankly, I was amazed too.
(combination of teachings from Shelly Locke and Paula Fellingham's classes)

Dating your Husband:

1. Use what little time you have together to talk about uplifting things instead of venting about the bad parts of your day.
2. Plan for dates like you did when you first met. Put on your best outfit, perfume, make-up, ect., and get excited about the date.
3. Take pictures on your dates and make an album or blog you can refer back to. Sounds cheesy but it could be cool.
4. Get into your husband's head. Maybe he would rather have tickets to his favorite team than a new tie. Or he might love it if you cleaned his car.
(Lindsey Rietzsch's class)

Grocery Deals:

1. Don't go to Costco or Sam's for food! Always buy the smallest, and buy it on sale. (Use a coupon too)
2. Plan your week's menu solely around the sale items on the front of the grocery ad. from your favorite store. Don't go to multiple stores.
3. Don't clip coupons and organize. For every 100 you clip you will probably only use 10 and you wasted time clipping the other 90. Just 3-hole punch the insert and stick it in a 3-ring binder that you take with you.
4. Grocery coupons typically last for 2 months and the same ones come out every 4 weeks... meaning you don't really need 4 or 5 copies of the Sunday paper. 2 will suffice.
I am guilty of having 5 copies. So I learned something new. Although I do enjoy the 5 copies of coupons when I get great deals on non-grocery items like shampoo, razors, ect.
This class was a great supplement to the other couponing classes I have taken. I do have to point out that food storage was not addressed and that is a major thing that I coupon for. So maybe it isn't so bad having 5 copies when you get something down to a "stock-up" price.
(The Grocery Guru's class)

Motherhood:

This class was titled, "Exchanging Martyrdom for Motherhood"
1. We need to remember that we CHOSE motherhood as a career. No one forced us to become mothers.
2. Just like any other job, it has its glamorous points (pros) and its not so glamorous points (cons). Maybe we should exchange the word cons for "not fun things."
3. We need to start giving OURSELVES high fives and pats on the back because it will be a long sad journey if we are waiting for someone else to do it. Motherhood is not like other jobs where you get praised by your boss or promotions/raises.
(Rachelle Hughes class)

The convention was awesome. I feel refreshed and ready to put these new tools to work. I can't wait for next year's conference!

p.s. Thanks Jenn, Cynthia, and Abby for going with me.